The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Make Friends with Your Mother-in-Law!

By Sally Shields
Binding:Paperback
Publisher:Outskirts Press, (2/21/2008)
Language:English



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"Next to Waterford Crystal, The Daughter-in-Law Rules may be the best wedding gift you can give!"

Tim Bete, author of Guide to Pirate Parenting


Do you dread visits with your mother-in-law? Do you find yourself dodging ruthless comments hurled your way at every possible moment? Is battling your mother-in-law a simple fact of life, or is there another way to mitigate the age old conflict between mother and wife? In her hilarious new book The Daughter-in-Law Rules author Sally Shields lays out simple and witty strategies to aid wives of all ages in the difficult art of mastering the mother-in-law. With her 101 rules to manage your mother-in-law she scrutinizes every element of MIL relations; from the decorum of housekeeping to the delicate world of child rearing. The Daughter-in-Law Rules provides a revolutionary set of strategies, making copasetic coexistence possible at last!
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"The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Make Friends with Your Mother-in-Law! "
By Sally Shields

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"The Daughter In Law Rules made me laugh out loud! You will find funny and compassionate advice that works." -- Lynne Klippel Lynne Klippel, founder, www.BusinessBuildingBooks.com

"I love this book! The Daughter-in-Law Rules is delightful with an unapologetic truth about a tremendously complex relationship constellation." -- Dr. Jackie Black, PH.D. relationship expert, coach and author, Meeting Your Match 

"The DIL Rules is the Bible for all daughters-in-law and daughters-in-law to be! Sally provides an entertaining and funny, yet practical and down-to-earth guide to dealing with the mother-in-law." -- Joseph Ghabi Joseph Ghabi, founder, www.FreeSpiritCentre.info

"Read this book today if you want to learn how to turn your biggest naysayer into your strongest advocate!" -- Patrick Snow, best-selling author, Creating Your Own Destiny

"Sally's Shield's book is a refreshingly funny and honest, yet kindhearted perspective on an issue that no doubt perplexes countless women worldwide. There are a MIL-lion reasons to read!" -- Scot McKay, professional dating coach and founder, X & Y Communications www.DeserveWhatYouWant.com

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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Your MIL is coming! Your MIL is coming! As your husband announces that his mother is due to arrive in a couple of hours, your hands sweat and your heart begins to palpitate as you quickly try to neaten and straighten the house to perfection. HELP! Can you possibly live up to her standards? Will anything you do be to her satisfaction? Why does the mother of your beloved always cause such fear and trepidation? And when that bell finally rings, you open up the door with a gargantuan smile. With the most genuine welcome you can muster, you gush, "Hi MOM! How was your trip?" Without skipping a beat she barks back, "The traffic was horrible--took me two hours to get here. My neck is KILLING me, Take my bags in. You look like @#$%^*! Better take some Dayquil. Where are my little angels?"

You sigh heavily as you pick up her suitcase and purse your mouth into a tight-lipped smile. There has to be some magic technique for dealing with mothers-in-law! After all, almost every wife you know has issues with hers... EUREKA! A set of strategies! What if you had a crystal ball, and you could anticipate all of your MIL's quirky comments in advance? What if there was a method to mitigate her faultfinding ways ahead of time? You dream of being prepared for all the curve balls that come hurtling your way--what if you could deflect the bulk of them, and be at ease when she walks through the door?

And suddenly you remember that there's hope--you'll go and re-read The Daughter-in-Law Rules! You straighten your posture and feel a new empowerment for battle. And while you offer Mom a nice cup of tea, that old joke comes to mind: "How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice!!!"

I spent many an hour on the long rides back from the Midwest trying to get my husband to feel my anger, hurt and frustration about his mother's irritating behaviors and verbal barbs. But after several years of having the same old conversations with him about this issue, I realized the bond between a mother and her son is impenetrable and there was no way in Kalamazoo I was going to get him to take sides. There seemed to be no end to this troublesome cycle! I eventually figured out that I had to be the one to change my viewpoint or this exasperating dynamic would continue or worsen.

I knew I had to take matters into my own hands, as I loved (and love now more than ever!) my husband dearly. It was an essential move, coming up with these DIL Rules! So whenever a bothersome incident would pop into my head, I jotted down longhand, on the back of napkins and any other scraps of paper I could get my hands on, a new strategy for dealing with my MIL. I started writing down all the bloopers that I seemed to make over and over with her and created a rule and a solution to deal with each and every one--from household matters to beauty techniques, to handling her lovely (and oh-so-appreciated) advice about to how to deal with my children!

Though this exercise started off as a tongue-in-cheek coping mechanism, once I began putting a few of these rules into practice, I noticed that my MIL's attitude started to shift. I began to see her softer, gentler, more agreeable side, and realized that she actually wanted to be quite helpful and kindly towards me. I began to really like her--a lot, in fact! I thought that if she and I could actually have a non-confrontational, even pleasant rapport, (which has now turned into a loving bond), then these rules really have something to them, and maybe I could help to save other young wives needless contention by letting them in on my little secret!

The point of The Daughter-in-Law Rules is to help you stay one step ahead of your mother-in-law. It won't be easy at first. (When the going gets tough, remember, you are younger than she is, but most importantly, you have her son!) You'll notice that as you start to apply these calculatingly affable defenses you will no longer be looking for her approval. You will begin to coexist peacefully with her, and experience smooth sailing with your husband too, because the two most important women in his life are finally getting along.

Now let's go and have some fun!


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Sally Shields is an award-winning pianist, composer, speaker, and author. She graduated with honors from the New England Conservatory and was a recipient of the Boston Jazz Society Award. Winner of the 17th annual Great American Jazz Piano Competition, her articles and transcriptions are featured regularly in Piano Today Magazine and her book, Modern Jazz Piano, is the standard theory manual for several music programs, including Princeton University. Her children's song "It's Christmastime, Once Again" was a finalist in the John Lennon Songwriting Contest and her music is currently featured on the ABC TV daytime drama All My Children. When not traveling and performing around the world--most recently with bestselling author and musician James McBride--Sally (a vegetarian) lives in New York City with her husband (not a vegetarian!) and their two children.

Note: Although the relationship with her MIL was rocky at the outset, with the implementation of the devices outlined in The Daughter-in-Law Rules, the two now enjoy a special bond--which got even better, interestingly enough--after her MIL found out she was writing this book!

Sally Shields is an author, speaker, award-winning pianist, composer and best-selling author of, The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends with) Your Mother-in-Law! She is the recipient of the Editor's Choice Award from the International Library of Poetry, and a frequent contributor to various magazines. Winner of the 17th annual Great American Jazz Piano Competition, her first book, Modern Jazz Piano, is the standard theory manual for several music programs, including Princeton University. She performs worldwide, most recently with bestselling author and musician James McBride. Shields was a finalist in the John Lennon Songwriting Contest and her music is currently featured on the ABC TV daytime drama All My Children. Her latest book is THE COLLABORATOR RULES: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Stay Friends with) Your Co-Author!



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